The Size of My Jeans


Each and every day I watch my youngest son stare in amazement as he explores his fingers, tummy and toes. I also watch my oldest son stare at himself in the mirror and smile exclaiming how handsome he is. They’re both so small yet somehow have this substantial confidence when it comes to their bodies.

There is a shift that occurs somewhere between childhood and adulthood, our perspective regarding our physical appearance radically changes. But when? When do we lose our ability to look at our body with amazement? When do we stop looking at ourselves in the mirror and smiling?

Prior to my second pregnancy I confidently wore size six jeans. Fast forward 11 months and I find myself shopping in one of my favorite stores for new ones. Rather than searching for size six jeans, I gathered a couple different styles in a size eight, after all I just had a baby. In my mind, purchasing a new pair one size up was logical. But once I was in the fitting room all logic jumped out of the window. The size eight jeans would not go passed my thighs and the size ten jeans would not go passed my hips then finally, I had a pair that fit. To my dismay I had doubled in jean size. Size 12. Size 12! SIZE 12! I could immediately feel my self-esteem shrivel inside. How could this have happened? After my first son the weight practically melted off the same day I gave birth and yet here I am two months after my second son and I have gone up six sizes! I cannot count the amount of times I cried in the days that followed. My confidence had clearly been shaken.

Society does a sensational job of deceiving women, making us believe that we’re only beautiful if we wear a specific size and teaching our minds to bully our bodies until we attain those proportions. But I’m here today to say, the size of my jeans does not define my beauty. My body is not an ornament! My body is an instrument! It was not meant to merely be on display. It was created with divine purpose for delicate works.

Since that store visit my jean size has gone down to a ten and if it never goes down again, that’s okay with me. My body carried and birthed two beautiful boys. My purpose now is not to attain the ideal body but to care for the two children God has entrusted me with. Please do not misinterpret what I’m saying, it is still very crucial that we establish healthy habits, exercise is essential as well as maintaining a proper diet, after all the Bible does tell us to take care of our temple. What I am saying is that whether you wear size 2 or size 12 or size 22, love your body because it is BEAUTIFUL!



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